Bethany Christian Assembly eNews

May 3	Saturday Night Lights: Flag Football Tournament
May 4	Baby and Child Dedication Class Dedication Form (PDF)
May 4	Incredible Keys to Increasing Intimacy God’s 10 Intimacy Increasers
May 4	Adult Water Baptism Class
May 7	The Case for a Creator Class begins
May 7	Addictions Support Group Begins
May 11	Mother's Day
May 11	Baby and Child Dedication Day
May 16-17	Men's Conference in Pasco

Four-year-old Suzie had just been told the story of "Snow White" for the first time in her life. She could hardly wait to get home from nursery school to tell her mom. With wide-eyed excitement, she retold the fairy tale to her mother that very afternoon. After relating how Prince Charming had arrived on his beautiful white horse and kissed Snow White back to life, Suzie asked loudly, "And do you know what happened then, mommy?" "Yes", said her mother, "they lived happily ever after." "No, no, no," responded Suzie with a frown, "they got married."

Sadly, for many married couples, Suzie's fairy tale is a reality. Being happy and being married is a contradiction in terms for some. God's blueprint for marriage is that two people become one and enjoy, intimacy, friendship, love and happiness. God wants your marriage to thrive...not barely survive.

So, how do you keep love alive? After all, even a good marriage can become stale with a little neglect. Two people who love each other can drift apart if they ignore God's principles for keeping love alive. In I Corinthians 13, God gives us ten vital signs for thriving, healthy marriages. Today, we will look at the first five vital signs.

1. LOVE IS KEPT ALIVE BY WATCHING WHAT WE SAY AND HOW WE SAY IT.
I Cor. 13:1--If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Love is kept alive by being very careful with the way we talk to one another. You may have eloquence to win every argument or be able to marshal the most logical support for your position, but if you have not love, it will be hurtful in the long run.

Some husbands and wives don't just disagree; they annihilate each other. They belittle each other, humiliate each other, and strip each other of self-worth. Over time, callousness builds up and they wonder why they have drifted apart. Jesus wants us to love each other as He loves us. This agape love in I Corinthians 13 is a love that is truly Christian...a love that impacts how we talk to each other. Every marriage needs to monitor its communication pulse.

Words can strike a mortal blow. Words can cut deep. It takes only a few seconds to utter a hurtful word, but it can take a lifetime for that hurt to go away. Matt 12:36,37--But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken, for by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

Eph 4:15--Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is Christ.
Prov. 10:11--The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life...
Prov. 10:20--The tongue of the righteous is choice silver...
Prov. 12:18--...the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Prov. 15:4--A soothing tongue is a tree of life.
Prov. 16:21--...sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.

Not only do we need to watch our talk, we must learn to listen. Inherent in the first verse of I Corinthians 13 is the point that we must show love by listening. We must speak in love and we must listen in love. If someone is talking and not listening, then there is no communication.

What am I saying when I fail to listen to my wife? I'm saying: "What you have to say, Lisa, is unimportant to me. I'm not willing to take the time to honor you and love you by listening to you." Wow!

Men and women are very different. Our brains actually work very differently. We can understand our spouse better if we listen and learn. Practice reflective listening. Make eye contact, lean forward, nod your head and repeat important words or phrases to show that you are paying attention. God created us with two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk. Listen and learn, and if you want to learn, listen.

3. LOVE IS KEPT ALIVE WHEN TWO PEOPLE REALIZE THAT THEY DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT.
1 Cor. 13:2 (Phillips)--If I have the gift of foretelling the future and hold in my mind not only all human knowledge but the very secrets of God, and if I also have the absolute faith which can move mountains, but have no love, I amount to nothing at all.

God says that having the ability to predict the future, possessing all the knowledge in the world, and being a great spiritual person is worth nothing if you don't have love. Truth means nothing without love. Faith means nothing if it does not produce acts of love and charity. Paul says that love is king: so show love and be loving.

Some husbands and wives feel the need to be right all the time. They never really feel comfortable or safe if they are not in control, and they hurt each other with their authoritarian ways. Paul doesn't say there's anything wrong with being right or spiritual; he simply says, "Watch out! Make sure your actions are surrounded by love." You can be technically right about an issue but still be very wrong. It is more important to be loving than to win another argument.

Because of selfish attitudes and insistence on always being right, some marriage partners have turned their duet into a duel. Harmony has become disharmony. Give yourself the right to not have to be right on every issue. As Shedd writes, "Marriage is not so much finding the right person as being the right person." Bruce Metzger puts it this way: "After marriage, it is not so much compatibility but adaptability."

4. LOVE IS KEPT ALIVE BY PATIENCE.
1 Cor 13:4--Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Have you ever prayed, "God give me patience...NOW!" Getting angry is often the opposite of patience. Patience means "taking a long time to boil", "long-suffering" or "slow to anger." The love we're talking about is slow to lose patience. Prov. 14:29--He who is slow to anger has great understanding but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.

Patience cools down a potentially dangerous argument. Prov. 15:18--A hot tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger (patient) pacifies contention.

We get impatient with each other, don't we? Demonstrated patience is a sign of maturity and love. This patience honors Christ and our spouse. Prov. 16:32--He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

BEING PATIENT MEANS:
• We give each other time to explain.
• We are understanding and forgiving.
• We are not judgmental.
• We do not set impossible performance standards.
• We give each other time and room to breathe.
• We are giving and kind.
• We do not have unrealistic expectations.
• We are slow to anger.
• We seek our spouse's highest good above all.
• We recognize and respect the differences and uniqueness of our partner.

Love is not selfish, it is patient! Keep love alive by being patient with each other.

5. LOVE IS KEPT ALIVE IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF CONSTRUCTIVE AND POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.

Paul says, "Look for a way of being constructive" (1 Cor 13:4 Phillips). Be Encouraging, be transparent and be vulnerable. Don't be unapproachable or superior. Christ proved His vulnerability on the cross for us, and He calls us to do the same. Support, serve, honor, live for, bless, compliment, strengthen and love each other.

How do you feel when you read or hear about spousal abuse? A friend of mine told me that his father would often come home drunk and beat his mother until she was unconscious. The kids would hear their mother crying as their father beat her, and then they wouldn't hear her anymore. How do stories like this make you feel? I'll tell you how they make me feel: angry! Any man who beats his wife should be locked up in a cage.

I have counseled enough couples to know that the emotional abuse some husbands and wives inflict on each other is just as painful. There are greedy men who make their wives beg for money, and heartless women who belittle their husbands and compare them to someone more successful. Many marriages contain constant criticism that beats each partner emotionally until they are both stripped of their human dignity.

GOD HAS CALLED US TO:
• Love one another (John 15:17)
• Forgive one another (Eph. 4:32)
• Bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2)
• Be subject to one another (Eph. 5:21)
• Encourage one another (I Thess. 5:11)
• Serve one another (Gal. 5:13)
• Care for one another (I Cor. 12:25)

Love does not tear down; it builds up. Try to out-love one another! Check the vital signs: watch what you say and how you say it, care enough to listen, realize that you don't always have to be right, be patient, and create an atmosphere of constructive and positive reinforcement. Your marriage can thrive if you keep love alive!

Note: Hyperlinks to sermon notes for the upcoming weekend are typically active by Friday afternoon. To view all messages available for download, visit http://www.bca-online.com/messages.htm.

Sermon Notes: Incredible Keys to Increasing Your Intimacy in Your Marriage and Family: God’s 10 Intimacy Increasers

This inspiring spirited traditional service features a rich blend of old and new songs and hymns, monthly communion, and strong Bible teaching.

Each Sunday, our Celebration gathering features vibrant worship and relevant Bible teaching. In Celebration, you will be moved by awesome contemporary music, passionate worship and a bold proclamation of God's love.

A worship experience centered around the inspiring hymns and choruses of our faith heritage. Tradition provides a softer Sunday worship experience that includes responsive readings, prayer, and the Sunday sermon via large screen video.

Fusion combines a fresh guitar-driven sound with a relaxed environment. Each service gives opportunity for worship, prayer, and communion in an atmosphere that allows for personal reflection, with video and live messages that relate to everyday life situations.

Are you ready for some football? We've rented out Memorial Stadium and will be having the tournament under the lights! This is where all of your football dreams can come true! Participation is limited to those 16 and older. Get your team together and sign up today because space is limited! For more information, or if you are an individual who would like to join a team, contact Josh Cypher at joshua.cypher@gmail.com or Pastor Jeff at jeffd@bca-online.com. Information packets are available at the Information Center.

Our next Baby and Child Dedication Class is scheduled for Sunday, May 4^th, immediately following the 10:30 AM service. This required class will educate you about the important part parents play in dedicating their child's life to God. The next Baby and Child Dedication Day will then be held on Mother's Day, May 11^th, during the 10:30 AM service. For more information on how you can sign up for our Baby Dedication Class and have your child dedicated, please email Shelley Wetzel.

A special baptism class designed for children 8 years of age and older will be offered Sunday, May 4^th at 10:30 AM in the Children's Center. The class topic will be the meaning of water baptism and whether or not each child is ready to take this all important step. The meaning of Holy Communion will also be discussed. If you are planning to attend this class, please email kids@bca-online.com so that we can send you more information on water baptism for children.

The children who attend this class may be water baptized during the 10:30 AM service on Sunday, May 18^th. What a special time for children and their families!

Whether you have been a Christian for just a week or for 10 years or more, Basic Christian Beliefs is sure to be an inspiring and helpful course for you to take. Join Pastor Jeff Duchemin and Randy Smith for an 8 week study that will explore the essentials of Christianity and give you a wonderful opportunity to deepen your faith in a variety of ways. You will enjoy the “small group feel” as well as a relaxed environment where questions are encouraged. This class meets each Wednesday at 7 PM in the Hospitality Room.

If you are a single mom, come join other moms for a wonderful time of support, encouragement, Bible study, and prayer in a warm and inviting environment each Wednesday at 7 PM in the BCA Family Room. Raising kids is not easy, especially if you are doing it as a single mom. During this 6 week group, you will be encouraged as you connect with other moms facing some of the same challenges you are. As you study the Bible and other resources you will gain helpful insights and hope as you journey forward. This will also be a great time of making friends and having fun together! Don’t miss out!

Could it be that the world looks designed because it really is designed? Increasing numbers of scientists are coming to that conclusion. Once, science and Christianity seemed light years apart. Yet today, not only do "the heavens declare the glory of God," but those who explore them are discovering the fingerprints of a master intelligence on the finely tuned dials of the universe. Join Pastor Rob beginning Wednesday, May 7^th, in the Chapel for a new study entitled "The Case for a Creator". In this remarkable DVD-driven study, award-winning journalist Lee Strobel interviews scientists and Christians scholars about the existence of God. With his characteristic style Strobel explores this complex topic, uncovering science's latest researches. The Case for a Creator book will be available for purchase during the first class session.

Description: Men's Conference is an exhilarating event for men of all ages. The conference's special speaker challenges the hearts of men to be leaders in their homes, communities and in their local churches. It provides a time of worship and powerful sessions with the special speaker. The conference is designed to partner with local churches' Men's Ministries. It is intended to strengthen Christian men and help them build relationships while having a great time. Included in the conference are a variety of special events such as golf, motorcycle riding, paintball, sporting clay competition, powered parachute rides, 3-on-3 basketball, golf-cart races, road biking and much more. It is an awesome event for all men that attend!

This year's Men's Conference is at Faith Assembly in Pasco, WA on May 16-17. The special speaker is Isaac Canales, pastor of the 3000-member Mission Ebenezer in Carson, CA. He has spoken at numerous conferences, retreats, and conventions, including Promise Keepers. This year's theme is 'DRIVE: The Destination's Worth It. Registration by May 9^this $144. "Please contact Darlene Thompson at darlenet@bca-online.com to register.

We need your help to keep our parking lot open for guests! Our goal is to have 100 families commit to helping us in this endeavor by parking in the PUD parking lot, located on the corner of California Street and Virginia Avenue. Shuttles will be running between the PUD lot and the church for continuous pick-up and drop-off from 7:15 - 9:15 AM, 10:00 - 10:45 AM, and 11:30 AM - 12:30 PM. Drivers may find it easier to drop off their families at the front doors before going over to the PUD parking lot. If you need to stay later after church, you can ride the shuttle back to the PUD lot directly after church, and bring your car back. As an extra incentive, each driver using the shuttle will receive a coupon for a free drink of their choice (16 oz. size) from the Cedar Street Espresso Stand, located in the foyer outside the Activity Center.

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Bethany Christian Assembly
2715 Everett Avenue | Everett, WA 98201 | 425-339-3303