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Upcoming Events
Be sure to visit http://www.bca-online.com/events.htm
for more information on these and other upcoming
events. Exciting Stuff Only one more shopping
day until Mother's Day! And aren't Moms amazing? She cooks, she cleans,
she comforts, and she corrects. She works, pays bills, volunteers, and
directs. She has six pairs of hands, and eyes in the back of her head.
Moms are tough and tender, wise and warm. Moms must be all things to all
her family...all the time. That's quite a job description, and anyone who
is a mother or has watched one in action knows that there's no career more
demanding or more endangered in today's society. Something to Think About God wants our relationships to be strong and healthy. When was the last time you had your heart checked? Today, I want to get you on a tread mill, hook you up to some monitors, and help you gauge the relative health of your marriage and family relationships. YOUR MARRIAGE CAN THRIVE! 10 PRINCIPLES FOR KEEPING LOVE ALIVE!! Last week, we looked
at 5 vital signs to keeping love alive from I Cor. 13:1-4: This week, we continue with 5 more vital signs of a healthy marriage. 6. LOVE IS KEPT
ALIVE BY DEMONSTRATING COMMON COURTESY. "Love has good manners," says Paul. In the KJV translation, this means that "love doth not behave itself unseemly." Love is not "rude" (RSV). The Greek word used to convey this idea of common courtesy is the word aschamonei, which literally means to behave indecently or in a shameful manner. In other words, love is tactful and does nothing to raise a blush. Love makes one's mate feel special. I remember sharing a sermon on marriage principles several years ago. After the message, I was greeting people in the lobby when a man came up to me and said jokingly, "That was a great message, Rob. My wife really needed to hear that." We chuckled, but two years later he was divorced. These God-given marriage principles are not a laughing matter. To ignore them is to allow relational arrest in your marriage. Many marriages are emotionally diseased because one or both spouses do not work hard at making the other mate feel special. Check your vital signs! We need to work hard to achieve excellence in our relationships. We need to work hard to make those near and dear to us feel special. It's like what Thomas Edison said once about genius: it is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. We need to work hard, pray hard, and live out our faith in the context of our relationships. We need to believe God for excellence in our relationships. Let's show others that we love them! Author Charlie Shedd says a very simple yet profound thing: "Every day, my wife and I try to say something nice to each other." Paul says to develop that beautiful sense of good manners and thoughtfulness in your marriage. Courtesy is love in the little things. A "gentleman" is a gentle man who does things gently, with love. While in Rome I had the opportunity to stand in the Coliseum/Circus Maximus. I stood where Christians gave their lives for their faith. You may not be asked to give your life for your faith, but do you live your life for your faith? Love is not rude; it is gracious and courteous. Keep love alive, healthy, and intimate by demonstrating common courtesy to each other every day. 7. LOVE IS KEPT
ALIVE IN A MUTUAL GIVE AND TAKE. Love is not possessive: "It is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance" (vs. 4 Phillips). "Love does not insist on its own way" (vs. 4 RSV). Love is not "self-seeking" (vs. 5 NIV). Let me boil verses 4, 5 and 6 down to one phrase: Love is not SELFISH. We are born selfish, but that's why Jesus said to "deny self." Why do we argue, block each other out, fail to forgive, insist on always being right, get angry and raise our voice, blame each other, and commit adultery? Because we are selfish. Love is not selfish...it is selfless. Love thinks of the other person before itself. Instead of blowing off steam, pouting, ignoring, or being rude to my wife, I can choose to love her and not do these selfish things. It's not about who's the boss; it's about who will serve. Some marriage partners have a "give me, give me, give me" attitude. They have the idea that it is their mate's job to make them happy, but love is kept alive and healthy when we give more than we take. The correct attitude is the biblical one, which says "it is more blessed to give than to receive." Newsweek's article entitled "The Science of a Good Marriage" focuses on the work of author and psychologist John Gottman of the University of Washington. Dr. Gottman has spent more than two decades trying to unravel the bewildering complexity of emotions that bind two humans together for a lifetime. He runs the Family Research Laboratory (nicknamed the LOVE LAB) on the UW campus. I find it interesting that some of their discoveries have been noted by God in His Word for nearly 2,000 years. Gottman writes, "An unequal balance of power is also deadly to a marriage." His research found that a husband who doesn't share power with his wife has a much higher risk of damaging the relationship. Why are men singled out? Gottman says that his data shows that most wives, even those in unstable marriages, are likely to accept their husband's influence. It's the men who need to shape up, he says. The changes can be simple, like turning off the football game when she needs to talk. Gottman says the gesture proves he values "us" over "me". That has been my finding as well. Men, we need to be the priests of our home. We need to carefully foster an environment of "give and take" that gives value and weight and honor to our wives. Don't be afraid to say the 12 most important words in marriage: I am wrong, I am sorry, please forgive me, and I love you. Love is not selfish; it is selfless. Keep love alive by giving more than you take. 8. LOVE IS KEPT
ALIVE WHEN WE SEEK TO ELIMINATE ANGRY EPISODES. Love "is not easily provoked" (KJV). Love "is not irritable" (RSV). The idea here is that you are not "touchy." You are very slow to get angry. You are a very understanding person. When love controls us, we will do all we can to keep from engaging in an angry confrontation with our partner. We will turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, etc. Eph. 4:3 says, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Some couples really go after each other. Sometimes the smallest thing sets them off and they start fighting like cats and dogs. God does not want us to do this. He knows that when we direct our anger at each other instead of a situation that we are hurting each other. Ephesians 4 tells us to "speak the truth in love" (vs. 15) and "don't let the sun go down on your anger" (vs. 26). Don't let the devil get a foot hold. We need to learn how to resolve conflict without turning disagreements into World War III. Unfortunately, "the only people who listen to both sides of a quarrel are the neighbors." Here are 5 A's to
remember: Love is very slow to anger. Keep love alive by seeking to eliminate angry episodes. 9. LOVE IS KEPT
ALIVE WITH SHORT MEMORIES OF EVIL AND LONG MEMORIES OF GOOD. "Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage; it is not touchy. It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails" (vs. 5,6 Phillips). No records or ledgers are kept. There is no thought about revenge or settling a score. We forgive others as God has forgiven us. There are going to be problems in any marriage. In fact, sometimes it can get rough just before the vows are said, as in this story about the bakery department in a Dallas supermarket. They set out this sign and pieces of a wedding cake for all the shoppers: "He changed his mind. Have a piece of cake on us." The Apostle Paul says in I Cor. 7:28, "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life." I've been thinking that in the next wedding I do, I'm going to say right after the kiss, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my happy privilege to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Let's congratulate them, because they're going to have an awful lot of troubles in life." Forgive. Don't hold a grudge. Ask God to help you to let go of resentment. Ask God to help you forgive and forget the past. Christ can take a relationship and make it new. If you can't forget, at least ask God to help you not bring the past up again. "Love keeps no score of wrongs," Paul says. Love forgives. Keep love alive by forgetting the evil and remembering the good. 10. LOVE IS
KEPT ALIVE WITH A NEVER-ENDING COMMITMENT TO LOVE. There is nothing love cannot face. There is nothing that can break love. Agape love is steadfast with a "til death do us part" commitment. "Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is in fact, the one thing that will stand when all else has fallen" (vs. 7 Phillips). Some time ago, the guest on a TV talk show was an actor who was well known for his romantic roles on film. Predictably, he was asked, "What makes a great lover?" I am confident that everyone watching the show expected the standard macho-playboy response. His answer must have raised eyebrows all across America. It went something like this: "A great lover is someone who can satisfy one woman all her life, and who can be satisfied by one woman all his life. A great lover is not someone who goes from woman to woman to woman ... any dog can do that." In 1 Cor. 13, God gives us 10 principles for keeping love alive and increasing intimacy in our marriage and family relationships. All 10 require commitment. Are you committed to love "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health as long as you both shall live?" Commitment requires risk, pain and change ... but if you are committed, your marriage will be secure and creative and strong and healthy and growing and alive. Love is commitment. Now you can step off of
the treadmill, check the monitor, and check your pulse. How's your heart?
Check your vital signs, and keep love alive with a never-ending commitment
to love. Messages Online Note: Hyperlinks to sermon notes for the upcoming weekend are typically active by Friday afternoon. To view all messages available for download, visit http://www.bca-online.com/messages.htm. Sermon Notes: Incredible Keys to Increasing Your Intimacy in Your Marriage and Family: Try a Little Kindness One Church--Different Styles--Same Message We have something to suit your taste.
Sunday at 9:00 AM in the Worship Center This inspiring spirited traditional service features a rich blend of old and new songs and hymns, monthly communion, and strong Bible teaching.
Sunday at 10:30 AM in the Worship Center Each Sunday, our Celebration gathering features vibrant worship and relevant Bible teaching. In Celebration, you will be moved by awesome contemporary music, passionate worship and a bold proclamation of God's love.
Sunday at 10:30 AM in the Chapel A worship experience centered around the inspiring hymns and choruses of our faith heritage. Tradition provides a softer Sunday worship experience that includes responsive readings, prayer, and the Sunday sermon via large screen video.
Sunday at 5:00 PM in the Attic Fusion combines a fresh guitar-driven sound with a
relaxed environment. Each service gives opportunity for worship,
prayer, and communion in an atmosphere that allows for personal
reflection, with video and live messages that relate to everyday life
situations. Baby & Child Dedication Day Dedicating your child to the Lord is a major step of commitment. If you are interested in dedicating your baby or child, please download a dedication form at http://www.bca-online.com/pdf_forms/BabyDedicationApplication.pdf. Baby and
Child Dedication Day is Mother's Day, Sunday, May 11th, during the 10:30 AM
service. For more information on how you can sign up for our Baby
Dedication Class and have your child dedicated, please email
Shelley
Wetzel. Children's Baptism Day The
children who attended last week's special baptism class may be water baptized during the 10:30 AM
service on Sunday, May 18th. What a special time for children and
their families! Basic Christian Beliefs Class
Whether you have been a Christian for just a
week or for 10 years or more, Basic Christian Beliefs is sure to be an
inspiring and helpful course for you to take. Join Pastor Jeff Duchemin
and Randy Smith for an 8 week study that will explore the essentials of
Christianity and give you a wonderful opportunity to deepen your faith in
a variety of ways. You will enjoy the “small group feel” as well as a
relaxed environment where questions are encouraged. This class meets each
Wednesday at 7 PM in the Hospitality Room. Single Moms Support Group
If you are a single mom, come join other moms
for a wonderful time of support, encouragement, Bible study, and prayer in
a warm and inviting environment each Wednesday at 7 PM in the BCA
Family Room. Raising kids is not easy, especially if you are doing it as a
single mom. During this 6 week group, you will be encouraged as you
connect with other moms facing some of the same challenges you are. As you
study the Bible and other resources you will gain helpful insights and
hope as you journey forward. This will also be a great time of making
friends and having fun together! Don’t miss out!
The Case for a Creator Class
Could
it be that the world looks designed because it really is designed?
Increasing numbers of scientists are coming to that conclusion. Once,
science and Christianity seemed light years apart. Yet today, not only do
"the heavens declare the glory of God," but those who explore them are
discovering the fingerprints of a master intelligence on the finely tuned
dials of the universe. Join Pastor Rob each Wednesday at 7 PM in the Chapel for a study entitled "The
Case for a Creator". In this remarkable DVD-driven study,
award-winning journalist Lee Strobel interviews scientists and Christians
scholars about the existence of God. With his characteristic style Strobel
explores this complex topic, uncovering science's latest researches. The
Case for a Creator book is available for purchase in
class. Shuttle Ministry We need your help to keep our parking lot open for guests! Our goal is to have 100 families commit to helping us in this endeavor by parking in the PUD parking lot, located on the corner of California Street and Virginia Avenue. Shuttles will be running between the PUD lot and the church for continuous pick-up and drop-off from 7:15 - 9:15 AM, 10:00 - 10:45 AM, and 11:30 AM - 12:30 PM. Drivers may find it easier to drop off their families at the front doors before going over to the PUD parking lot. If you need to stay later after church, you can ride the shuttle back to the PUD lot directly after church, and bring your car back. As an extra incentive, each driver using the shuttle will receive a coupon for a free drink of their choice (16 oz. size) from the Cedar Street Espresso Stand, located in the foyer outside the Activity Center. Click for map to the P.U.D. parking lot. BCA Ministries
- Bill Kibby Bethany Christian Assembly 2715 Everett Avenue | Everett, WA 98201 | 425-339-3303 |
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