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Building Strong Families in a Broken World
"What a Man Needs" 
Pastor Rob Carlson
Sunday, April 24, 2005

LAST WEEK:
Top 5 Traits a Woman Wants in Her Man
Godliness: A Man Who Loves And Honors God
Affirmation: A Man Who is Kind and Caring
Good Listener: A Man Who Loves by Listening
Understanding: A Man Who is Compassionate and Committed
Protector: A Man Who is Faithful, Reliable, Responsible



5 TOP TRAITS A MAN WANTS IN HIS WOMAN


1. GODLY CHARACTER: INNER BEAUTY, HOPE & STRENGTH

Proverbs 31: A Picture of Godliness
• Noble Character (vs. 10-12)
• Industrious (vs. 13-20)
• Provider (vs. 21-27)
• Respected (vs. 28-29)
• Fears the Lord (vs. 30-31)


2. LOVING: AFFECTIONATE, COMPASSIONATE, INTIMATE

Heb. 13:4—Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Gen. 1:27-31

4 Biblical Principles of Marital Intimacy:

1. For marriage only—respect God’s boundaries. Prov. 5:1-5 NIV

2. It is God’s Gift to Married Couples. 
Prov. 5:15-19(LB)—-Drink from your own well, my son—be faithful and true to your wife. Why should you beget children with women of the street? Why share your children with those outside your home? Let your manhood be a blessing: rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight.

3. God is no prude—He understands love and created you for it.
Wife—Song of Sol. 5:10-15
Husband—Song of Sol. 7:1-9

4. Marital intimacy is an expression of unselfish affection, not selfish desire. I Cor. 7:3,4.


3. ADMIRATION: RESPECT, APPRECIATION, ENCOURAGEMENT.

I Peter 3:1-6. yes and He will bless you for it.


4. COMMITTED: MARRIAGE, FAMILY, FUTURE

Marriage: 6 Do’s and 7 Don’ts to Building Marriage Commitment (I Cor. 13:4-7):
6 Do’s                                                        7 Don’ts
Patient--considerate                               Boast--competition
Kind—sensitive/understanding           Proud—self-absorbed
Protect--value                                          Rude--have good manners, courteous
Trust--believe                                          Selfish—insist on own way (RSV)
Hope-- future                                             Angry—“cut with the tongue”
Persevere--work                                      Grudges—refusal to forgive, bitterness
                                                                    Evil Intent—dishonesty


5. MUTUALITY: ONE PAGE, ONE PURPOSE, ONE MIND, ONE MISSION

Read Eph. 5:22-33; Phil. 2:1-8.

5 A’s of Conflict Resolution
Affirm—Communicate how much you love your mate.
Assert—Honestly and calmly share your feelings & respect his/hers.
Agree—Agree on what you can. Celebrate your agreements.
Accept—Agree to disagree. Crystallize where you disagree and respect opposing views. Diversity can be good.
Appreciate—Verbalize your love for your partner.

Small Group Discussion Questions

1. Imagine people you know who have a great marriage. Name one quality that stands out.

2. Review the points and Bible verses from this lesson. 
What personal application can you make from this week's teaching? 

3. What are the characteristics of a great marriage?

4. Take some time right now to pray for the needs of those in your small group.

*Scripture is quoted from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.
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